Senin, 28 April 2008

re-rediscovering atlantis

fast love falls long

first love long gone

true love dies young

I measure the odds, you do the math

can i still hold your hands like the last time you were on my arms?

can i still kiss you like i mean it?

guess not.

i tried to be chill but you're hot and i'm melting

Jumat, 25 April 2008

three is the new couple

"kenapa lo? ko jadi diem?"

frequently asked question of the week

i really do enjoy life.
i'm just not so good at it.

so in the meantime,
the question remains unanswered

Selasa, 22 April 2008

a minor brain damage, a major pain in the ass

dimmed the lights
10 minutes from now i'll be on my sleep
i'm going to spend that 10 minutes wisely to recap what i've been doing these passed 10 days

a minute for a day


there goes four already

i'm going to spend my remaining six..

bye now

Minggu, 20 April 2008

Kill The Drama

Kill The Drama
by: Spitalfield (R.I.P)

i'd really like to see you there.
i cant pretend like i dont care.
because i really do yeah.
please just kill the drama.
go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow.
dream about me, and dont worry
we'll be fine.

Can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i dont know can not hurt me.
Can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i dont know can not hurt me.

im turning around.
im turning around.
im turning it out.
im taking it out.
im turning around.
im falling apart.
im hitting the ground.

im turning around.
im turning around.
im turning it out.
im taking it out.
im turning around.
im falling apart.
im hitting you down.

You said that we were leaving, i asked "where we were going."
do you really (really)?
i just really do want everything to work out
like the motion picture endings.
what i really (really)..
what i really meant to say

Can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i dont know can not hurt me.
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
what i dont know can not hurt me.

im turning around.
im turning around.
im turning it out.
im taking it out.
im turning around.
im falling apart.
im hitting the ground.

im turning around.
im turning around.
im turning it out.
im taking it out.
im turning around.
im falling apart.
im hitting the ground.

what i dont know cannot hurt me. [2x]

can you see me?
what i dont know can not hurt me.
(please just kill the drama.
go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow.
dream about me, and dont worry
we'll be fine.)

nothingness and more nothingness equals crap

6 feet times 8
so i count the size of this room.

124 seconds.
still no reply.

this square room is starting to choke on me
as it witnessed me being a worthless shit

stop laughing at me!

the walls keep pointing its finger at me



why? what did i lose?

i keep typing with eyes to the computer screen

still no reply

the walls wont stop laughing



yes, im a sucker for love

i was expecting a small talk or whatsoever

maybe a bit of "how are you" here and a bit of "what are you up to?" there


37 times i changed the channel

still no reply

should i say it?

umm.. i'll say it right here..

"i miss you".


will you regret it somehow if i love you no more?

Sabtu, 19 April 2008

a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

if it's up to me i will punch everyone who talks shit behind my back right in the face.
if it's up to me i will say it loud to their faces 'this is my life why dont you live your own!'
if it's up to me i will do whatever i want without even worry about the concequences.

but if i do all of the above, i'm nothing more than a brainless retard
i'm more than that

why dont you try for yourself; stop talking and start doing something?
because you gotta start somewhere, kid

i'm making an example that you can be whatever you want if you try hard enough
you can get whatever you want

there's always a way

the only things that i regret are those that i didnt do

i know that there's still a bunch of people who believe in me

and that's what makes me keep going

and going

and going

and going


and furher

and furher

and further.

because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

Jumat, 18 April 2008

orange skyline


if you were a tshirt
i will tumble dry low

if you were a shoe
i will not forget to tie

if you were a tv show
i will not change the channel

if you were a fancy clothes
i will wear you to the prom

if you were my girlfriend,
i will be a happier guy.

Kamis, 17 April 2008

never stop believing

this late night conversation

this feeling of caring nothing about what's gonna happen tomorrow

this butterfly on my tummy

staring at the bottom part of this computer screen, waiting it to blink

i really miss this.

how can i not see this?

i missed someone! and that someone is here now, right in front of me

and this is a reminder that

she's with me! she's with me! i said it repeatly to myself

i want this to last, more than anything else

because time stops when she's with me.


i woke up in a car

date: 17/04/2008
time: 9.35 am
type: text message

"thanks to you too, smua ga sia2 ko doch, u made me know and learn about love. this is a good thing, lets be friend, not more than that, aku ninggalin km baik2 ya doch, jgn sampe ntar ujung2nya kita berantem2 atau ngejelek2in satu sm lain, i know ur a good guy, see ya buddy"

current mood: crushed

Rabu, 16 April 2008

the end of an era

days ago, i thought i have found atlantis under the sea.. i thought my adventure to the deepest ocean of this so called love life was getting somewhere.. i saw something majestic, something bright at the end of the darkest tunnel..

"is this it? is this atlantis?"

a great city that i've built once and time lost it, atlantis is a metraphore for something great; my love, my pride, my victory, my glory, my dreams, my joy, my purpose, my last destination

there were so many choices, but i made my decision

"this should be atlantis.. no more looking, dochi.. this should be it." i said to myself

i have to make my decision.

her. i chose her over the others, she has won this heart. this mind. she has to be it. has to be.

i ignored her too long until she finally caught my attention.

from the midnite talks to the time that leads to her very first kiss.


i guess it wasnt the wisest decision, but i surely had a good time, and i bet she had one too with me.

"no, this isn't atlantis" i said to myself.

she built a city in my ruin just to watch it burn and see if i could escape.

na-ah.. scratch that, i dont blame her for anything.

maybe this is atlantis, but it wasnt ready to be found yet.

so i left a note written on paper and marker, not pencil, that says,

"i will be back when the time is right, i will fix you, i will build you, i will take care of you, i will make you stronger, and i will make sure you'll never be lost again, ever"

bye atlantis..

it's the end of an era and a start for everything

now i understand something that i didnt understand before..

that all these times,

red is covering atlantis

it was there all along.

take notes that even i wont say again the words "i love you" ever again, i will always still do

have a good one,

never deleting.

i want this




than i've wanted this


i dont know what to do

i'm so lost.

i'm so tired

and i dont know what im talking about anymore


i want this.

you just remember that.

this just made my day

look, a video cover :)
that just made my day..

lost count

im in the beginning of my life, the adventure, the start of something new.

ive started something a year ago and it all comes to this, im in the beginning of my peak of career, god knows how hard i've tried, the sweat, the tears, the laugh, the joy, the pain, the ego, and then something happened, something terribly shocking happened

i know i shouldntve write about this for public so they wont ever notice the imperfections of something that looks this beautiful

i'll share it anyway

weeks ago we were having this so called 'band meeting' to talk about stuff.. as some of you may know, my band with the initial PWG consist several people who's also involved in other bands.. on that very day we were having a discussion about the possibilities that one day we, PWG will make it, what will happen to the other bands that the others involves with.. they said "lets take this further" which means "ok, go!" so i took it further and further and further.. we just had a hell of a release party last weekend, it was one of the best time of my life, my parents were there, i showed them that this is what ive been doing, all the efforts. i showed them and all the other people who believed me that i can took it further, it was definetly a hell of an awesome night.

and then, good things started to come. one big ass cigarrette company offered sponsorship for us to do tour.. ok that was nice to hear

wait there's more

malaysia-singapore tour! wew that's something. that's SOMETHING with the capital everything.

and then i passed the news to all the other members.. i was expecting a hurray and thrilled but one of my friend who plays this instrument in my band replied with a short "when?" and i replied "juni atau juli" he replied "yaah.. itu pas **** rilis (the cencored initials of that dude's other band" oh you should know how shocked and heartbroken i was that very night.. i lost interest in anything.. really, everything.. i mentioned about the time that we all had that band meeting and he replied "gw juga ga pernah mimpi kita bisa sampe kaya sekarang" what was that suppose to mean? what about our efforts? what about my dreams? what about OUR dreams? he said he wanted to focus to his studies cus he'll be doing final task (skripsi) shortly.. i understand.. what can i do? im on your back, pal..

and then i just had a conversation with my other band member who's also with another band.. he said this specific words: "suatu saat emg gw hrs milih cod, dan gw blm bs milih untuk sekarang"


does this means we're breaking up?

like all my other relationships?

i guess this is the perfect time to say this

"it's all downhill from here"

i dont know what to do.

i need someone to lift me up. i lost her. i know i've lost her.

im gonna end this with a quote from a song, i forgot the title of it but this came from one of my favorite local band, fight for a day

"comeback when it's over, im gonna tell you a story about me without you"

Selasa, 15 April 2008


this is what's been happening in my life at the moment


im gonna write something smart..

but not today,

and definitely not tonight



i dont need to say alotta words to describe what im feeling right now, only a few words like 6-7 words... here it goes








Rabu, 02 April 2008