"Have You Ever Thought About Leaving?"

Earlier today, I asked that question to several people I know, a question about how much more you can bear this city, the city that we grew up, that some of us call home, some of us just stuck here and struggle to survive. Me, I wasn't born here, but I grew up here.

Fuck the traffic, fuckin' love the city.

 

Yes, the traffic is unbearable, I do admit that I contribute to the traffic by driving my own car here and there, but hey, where i'm going, it will take me more effort to take public transportation, plus, I pay my taxes so I deserve better infrastructure, ain't gonna ride crappy Metro Mini or Kopaja where in the past I lost my wallet and got robbed several times. So yeah. Plus I need everything in my baggage.

So, back to the question.

"I never thought about actually leaving, because everywhere I go, I always have this feeling of missing home. When I was away, I missed a lot of things that I left behind, and I was really looking forward to go back to those things I had in mind. So I thought, Jakarta was it, I knew because I've been to other places but Jakarta was always on the back of my mind.

But then I went back and things weren't the same."

I got that from a friend.

In some way, I love it enough to tolerate, that's why I stay and still hope that things will get better, it's like a relationship with this city, you get hurt sometimes, and I think i'm still here hoping to regain what i've lost, in vain.

Nevertheless, I'm not lucky enough to have parents that will throw me money to spend to start a new life abroad, I mean i had that chance, studying abroad, but threw it away for some girls in the past. My parents pampered me well though, they raised me well to always feel enough. Some people I know have the capability to decide and just go because they were born rich. (You thought i was going to say "but i'm stuck here in this hell hole" right? no I wasn't gonna say that) I still have mouths to feed, projects to finish, people that I care, my family, and most of all, MY CATS.

But my children deserve a better environment to grow up. They need better education, better infrastructure, and I will make efforts for that to happen. I'm not gonna force anything though, but keep this in mind, it will actually cost more to live here with the same field of work, why? You're gonna need to buy a car, a house that you can afford probably located at the edge of the town, which leads to more stress due to traffic, and good education is expensive unless you're smart as fuck and get scholarship. Boom. 

 

In the mean time, I'm here for this city, and everywhere I go, any place that I will end up at, I will always be that "awesome Indonesian guy Dochi" and home isn't just here, a city, a country, earth is home. And i'm keen to explore.

I hope we will have a good leader for this country, get rid of corruption, build proper infrastructure, fix the economy. Looking forward for future election. Really.

In conclusion, do i really think about leaving? well, to put it in good words, my heart will always be here.

~dots